What do you do when someone’s achieved your dream? Does a Kelly haze descend? It encompasses wanting what another has, not wanting them to have it or thinking that because they have it, you won’t get it or it will be taken away from you. Is it any wonder that jealousy is compared to murder in the Bible? Complex and negative, it’s a step too far along a ruinous road. Then there is its olive toned cousin, envy, which still covets what another has but can have a redeeming quality: inspiration.
I don’t like to admit to these most human of emotions but I confess yesterday I was envious. I’d just finished reading ‘From Pasta to Pigfoot’. I’d like to have a written and published a book too! Not fair! Or is it? Frances had talked about writing a novel when I worked for her briefly 9 years ago. I don’t know her very well; she’s my sister-in-law’s friend. However, she perseveres as can be attested by anyone who has witnessed the growth of her presence offline and elsewhere.
So instead of marinating in my envy, I chose to be inspired. This morning when there are a million things to do before we leave for the UK later, I decided to revisit my almost 15k word manuscript : critically rereading the appraisal sent by my tutor from the Faber online writing course I completed in May, noting the feedback from my course mates and making notes on how to rework and take forward my story. I plan to use the ‘bodyclock con’ to my advantage and do some writing while on holiday.
How can you make envy work for you?
Nicely written musings. My approach to a loved one’s success is to be happy for them and wish them well (note, I said loved one). I’d say I’ve been more of a supporter in the stands than a cheerleader. But this being my first comment on desertriverwriter, I now declare that I always read of your posts…
(FYI, you first novel forms part of my retirement plan, so make it good…no pressure:)). Give me an S…!
You make me smile. Thanks for being my cheerleader, my love.
Retirement plan – from your lips to God’s ears – could go off on an existential tangent about whether God has ears but I’ll refrain.
Pressure – maybe if I’d read this comment anywhere else but I’m sitting on Daddy’s back porch with a rain-veiled yet sunlit view of the sea.
What a great way to turn it around- I shall do the same. Forgive my literary ignorance though- what’s the body clock con and a Kelly haze?
Thanks – to borrow coaching speak – it is about reframing. We can’t know everything – kelly and olive are shades of green and jealousy is associated with the colour green. And the body clock con – is about the fact that I’ll be getting up really early in the UK and TnT because of the time difference. Which has happened but haven’t done much writing…